Magic can happen

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You found me out of the blue
I know I certainly wasn’t looking
That stress ended years ago

An innocent friend request
That’s all it took
And a warm smile

From the beginning, easy and casual
With an odd sense of being familiar
Our conversations were effortless

We shared stories, music, laughs
Opened up about pain and loneliness
Grew closer without really trying

In time, taking that next step
Inevitable, enticing, exhilarating
Butterfly jitters soon to be calmed

A whirlwind of firsts
A smiling gaze, a brush of the skin
A kiss enveloped in a hug

Understanding without saying
Time ain’t easy… life, neither
Never seems to be enough of either

Yet, we do the best we can
Embracing the moments
Making memories to last

We were never strangers
Picking up from where we left off
In another lifetime

It just goes to show
magic can happen
when you least expect it

An issue of trust

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“What would you do if you woke up tomorrow and realized that the relationship you thought you were in was not actually the relationship you were in? What if someone was lying to you about something very important that had shaped the way you thought about this person? What if you still were very in love with them, but very disappointed and hurt? What would you do?”

This is a question that I came across in a group discussion today. In my head, I imagined this comparison… building your home on what you think is a solid ground only to discover instead that it is quicksand. We all know about quicksand. It sucks you in, devouring gradually and eventually you are forever lost. However, if you’re lucky and have the strength, skills and agility, you can pull yourself out of the mire. Shoot! We’ve seen it in the movies.

At least you have a glimmer of hope if it’s quicksand. What if it’s a sinkhole? No alerts, no warnings. Once that foundation falls out from underneath you, it’s a wrap. You’re done. Sink, sank, sunk.

All humor aside, I did respond to the question with this: HONESTY and TRUST are two very important components to any relationship. A slip-up can happen one time and perhaps you can get past that discretion. Once that is “seal” is broken, it’s very easy to slip again and there will be a lingering cloud of question and doubt looming overhead. It takes a very strong-willed person to overcome that type of adversity. It also takes two… two partners that are willing to work hard enough to dissipate that cloud, move forward and rebuild on that lost trust and move to a firmer, rock-steady foundation.

Moon Child (Sunless Seed)

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This is probably the most heartfelt song I have heard in a long, long time. I have myself been shown lately that we are all very fragile souls and we do indeed need the love, nurturing and guidance to be the most we can be to oneself and to each other.

This song hits home on so many levels… all very true, all very heart-wrenching, all very sadly beautiful.

If you have a daughter stay
By her side, teach her right, her’s is your life
Learn from your mistakes

And if you’re sent a son
Be a man, hold his hand, show him love can
Be what makes men strong.

Cause honesty is all you need to carry on
~Moon Child (Sunless Seed)

It brings to home the realization that life is short, the people that surround us and our relationships with them are precious.

 

Teenage angst?

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“Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.”
~JJ. Marine

For the life of me I cannot understand how my 16 year-old can look me straight in the face and tell me that she is not bringing home her first-term school report. She says that the report is “really really bad” and she doesn’t want me to get mad (as if NOT bringing home the school report is going to make me less mad… go figure). That’s right! She is 16 years-old and that’s exactly what she said. I was flabbergasted! I couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. I’m still at a loss. The thought of it makes me want to dry-heave.  

Laying in bed last night those words played ping-pong in my head as I struggled to fall asleep. All I could fathom was two possible excuses for her behaviour. Reason number one: she’s a typical teen going through some typical teenager-angst. I have two older children and so I can say that we have all survived this ”phase” before. Reason number two: Some time, some how, some aliens must have crept into her room while we were sleeping, syphoned her brain, replaced the innards with poutine and she is merely a walking and nonsense-talking shell of her former self.

Blues song in my head

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It’s funny how random thoughts can stick in your head from time to time. A friend had asked me this week how I was doing. I started to make a list of what was going on… or what was going wrong, for that matter. I ended it all with the line: I want to scream but I have no air to spare.

After reading that conversation over a few times I kept coming to that one line as if it were a CHORUS (or whatever the musical terminology is for the “rounding-out line”.

Now, it makes me chuckle.

It gives me the vision of sitting on a stool on some makeshift stage in a dark, stank and smoky juke-joint… I’m kinda thinking of SHUGG from “The Color Purple” except I’ve got a harmonica in one hand and a glass of Jack within the other’s reach… some lazy-eyed, slack necked drummer poised in the background, a hunched-over piano player with a grizzled cigar perched to the side of his mouth like it’s an after-thought to my left, and of course there’s the guitar player standing feebly to my right looking like he’d rather be somewhere else.

But hey! we be jammin’…

bah DAH da dumph…
Got laid off my job just a few weeks before the holidays
bah DAH da dumph…
2 months behind in rent and another month is on it’s way
bah DAH da dumph…
My teenage daughter is still mad at me and we goin thu a quiet hell
bah DAH da dumph…
I feel like sh!t… and this just ain’t sittin well
I want to scream…. but I ain’t got no air to spare

(ok, so I improvised my words a little… call it artistic license)

yes, I’m going through some hard times but I refuse to let it get the best of me. I am indeed a little more hard-headed than that. Luckily it’s the humor that keeps me a-float.

I am resigned…

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I am resigned
To live a life alone
That is my sad existence

I’ve always known it
For as long as I can remember
Didn’t want to believe it

I’ve lasted through it
Like a hovering cloud
Some days darker than others

Life, it’s sweetness and happiness
Had me on the verge
Ever on the outside looking in

Often dreamt of
A sense of belonging
Eluded me

Often wished for
Love and being love
Has missed its mark

Even the unconditional love
The “love you thru thick and thin”
Has left me

Unsettled and strange
Desperate and deflated
Scared and lonely

But, I am resigned
To live a life alone
That was my sad existence

Gadhafi

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The breaking news this morning is that Gadhafi is dead along with one of his sons and his chief of intelligence. There goes another entry into the annals of history. I felt a slight surge of excitement and remorse at the same time when I saw the news-splash. It boggles my mind how one single person can rise and cause such havoc and global chaos but at the end of the day he is just a man… bloodied and world-reviled.

Steve Jobs

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“Our parents had JFK, we had Steve Jobs. Edison gave us electricity, Jobs gave us the Jetsons in real life. We lost an icon today. Mourn him.” ~ Kevin Smith

I was on-line this evening when I first saw the mention of the passing of Steve Jobs.

At first, I refused to believe it. I was in Twitter at the time. I quickly popped out and switched over to my news sources to see if that could be confirmed. After about 5 minutes of frantic searching and refreshing, the news was proved to be correct.

Pop!

Back to Twitter I went… and then I witnessed something personally for the very first time.

Right before my eyes, I got swept up in a slow but steadily increasing wave of shock, sadness and condolence as the news of this quintessential Don of mega-technology’s passing spread.

I gotta admit…  I started to take it personally! I began to feel like it was a member of my own family that had just passed away.

I was reading random but seemingly in-tuned passages and I was diligently (like the twitter-ite I can be) re-tweeting them along…

And then I came across this one special mention… this particular one tweet by Kevin Smith. It beaconed to me and hit me like a ton of bricks.

I very much remember when JFK was killed. As young as I was, I recall exactly when and where I heard the news. Although he was far removed from my little-red-nappy-headed-girl everyday life, I sensed even then his impact would resound in history.

I got that same eerie feeling this evening. I picture Steve Jobs, his drive and his genius…  as a tuning fork that has been struck against the wall of wonder. It will bounce, dance and resonate into and beyond the future.  WE have been so fortunate to have experienced his splurge of creation in real-time… them that follow can only experience in awe.

Exciting times: my latest assignment

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Isis & Michel, 2010

My oldest daughter, Isis, is engaged to be married.  The date she and her fiance, Michel, are aiming for is May 27, 2012.  The event will be taking place in New York City.  When I got married, I did not have the opportunity to go through the “wedding planning” stage  (…that’s another story I’ll dive into… but we’ll let it slide for now).  I do recognize that there is a lot of work involved…  and when they got engaged in June of this year I knew this was going to be some very exciting times.  Here we are approaching September.  Lawd…  things are gonna fly! 

Isis gave me a call over the weekend and asked me if I would do the design of her stationary (ie. engagement party invitations, wedding invitations, etc) to which I responded:  Of course, I will!  She has a girlfriend that does beautiful photography.  Over the years, Isis has been one of her photo subjects and the results are always stunning!  Having a fabulous base to start with is a god-send.

Now, between me and you…   this is where clear heads, true communication, the melding-of-the-minds AND the internet comes into play because I live here in Montreal (Canada), Isis lives in Washington (DC) and her girlfriend (Shannon, the photographer) is based out of Atlanta, GA.  Time is short and we have to be on point!

I viewed the latest photo proofs.  Love ‘em all!  My daughter is going for a smoothe retro-theme.  She’s always been very stylish and individualistic.  When she graduated from highschool she set the bar with her stylized Josephine Baker-look (marceled hair et al).  The engagement photos that Shannon took reflect her mind-set beautifully.  This is going to be a delicious challenge.  I’ll keep you posted.